LaoChaofengWhen the Frequencies Start to Drift Apart
Lately I’ve been noticing something more and more clearly:
I’m no longer on the same channel as some of the friends around me.
They still talk about what to eat, where to go, which game to play, and which woman.
None of these topics are unfamiliar. I used to join in naturally.
But at some point, without realizing it, I started becoming quiet in those conversations.
It’s not that I don’t understand.
I just can’t get interested anymore.
What fills my mind now is more like:
Is there a better way to write this code
Can this site structure be cleaner
Can the server setup be optimized
Can I implement this feature myself
Sometimes they’re chatting loudly and laughing, while I’m thinking about a bug.
Or a project that isn’t finished yet.
I’m physically there,
but my attention isn’t.
It’s Not That They Changed
I Just Started Moving in Another Direction
At first, this shift felt a little strange.
I wondered if I was becoming less sociable.
If I was starting to look down on those conversations.
But slowly I realized:
it’s not about who’s better than whom.
We’re just heading in different directions.
Their rhythm leans toward instant enjoyment:
After work → relax → entertainment → chatting
Be happy today, that’s enough
And I’ve grown used to another rhythm:
After work → work on projects → write something → refine structure
Slower, but something remains
I didn’t intentionally try to become “hard-working.”
I just became increasingly addicted to making things.
When I write code, time becomes quiet.
When a site finally runs, there’s a sense of solidity.
Even fixing a small issue satisfies me more than a lot of small talk.
It’s subtle,
but once you get used to it,
it’s hard to return to how things were before.
Conversations Start to Feel Like Courtesy
Now when I’m with some friends, I still talk.
I laugh when it’s appropriate.
I respond when spoken to.
But I know many topics no longer truly pull me in.
Sometimes they ask what I’ve been up to.
I say I’ve been coding, building sites.
They nod,
and the conversation quickly returns to games or something else.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s just becoming clearer to me:
the overlap between us is shrinking.
We used to talk all night.
Now ten minutes is enough.
It’s not that the relationship got worse.
Our frequencies just started to drift apart.
I’ve Started Enjoying a Quieter Kind of Focus
I’m finding myself enjoying more and more the process of:
working on things alone
solving problems alone
building something by myself
It isn’t lively.
Sometimes it’s even a little lonely.
But it feels real.
When a site goes live,
when a function finally works,
when a piece of code becomes clean and clear,
the satisfaction is quiet,
but steady.
It doesn’t hit as fast as the joy of a gathering,
but it lasts longer.
I’m Not Planning to Leave Anyone Behind
I’m not trying to distance myself from anyone.
Those friends are still friends.
The way we interact just shifts gradually.
I don’t force myself to engage deeply in every topic anymore.
And I don’t expect them to fully understand what I’m doing.
If we can talk, we talk.
If we can’t, that’s okay too.
Life naturally has different phases.
Some people are meant to share the noise with you.
Some are meant to share growth.
And right now,
I might be in a phase that needs more focus.
Maybe This Is Just Another Shape of Growth
I don’t think I’ve become better.
I’ve just become clearer about:
what excites me
what quiets me
what’s worth long-term effort
As I put more time into code, websites, and projects,
some relationships naturally fade a little.
Not out of intention,
but because attention has shifted.
Maybe after some time
I’ll meet more people who are also building things.
Maybe not.
But at least for now,
I know the direction I’m heading.
Frequencies drifting apart doesn’t mean anyone has left anyone.
It just means:
we’re each walking
on tracks that suit us better.
And I’m slowly getting used to
this quieter road.
